Random thought.

So, I just had a very interesting thought while sitting here in my dorm room waiting for my John Mayer video on Youtube to load.

How come if someone tells you something negative about your body it's not okay, but if someone tells you something positive about your body it is?

How come it's not right for someone not to date someone else just because they don't think they are that attractive, but it's okay for someone to date someone else just because they are hot?


In my opinion if a guy was to come up to me and tell me that I was ugly, or fat, or gross, or anything negative that I would think "He's not worth my time if all he cares about is my looks", but if a guy was to come up to be and tell me "You are the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen", I'd probably instantly like him.

They are almost the same thing, because neither of them judge you based on your personality, just on looks alone.

So how come one is okay, and the other isnt?

As the summer ends...

...we begin a new chapter in our lives.



You're right, the closer you get to someone the scarier it is.
You have a greater chance of getting hurt because you become more vulnerable.
You allow a person to know everything about you, inside and out...every nook and cranny.
I love you with all my being, and I love the relationship that we have, but you know me...the worry wart.
Everytime I get close to someone like this, I get hurt and my heart gets broken.
I'm scared now, that because our surroundings are changing, that we will change and everything will be different and not in a good way.
I know that is stupid for me to think, but it's always in the back of my mind.

But instead of that happening, I hope our relationship becomes stronger than it is now, and that we grow together instead of apart.
I have never wanted something to work out so much as I do this.
I love you more than I can even explain, or can even be measured.
Thank you for being you.




I love you.

Kaleidoscope

Life is made up of pieces which all seem to be thrown into a hat.
Leaving us to blindly choose the ones that will ultimately determine our fate.
Some pieces are exquisite, while others are of the ugliest hues imaginable.
But that's when you realize that life is like a kaleidoscope.
While all the pieces inside may not be as eye catching or pleasing as others, as a whole they come together to form a beautiful work of art.

Coaxing a tortoise out of it's shell.

We're born in this sort of shell, one where our mother and father protect us from all the evils of the world.
But as we grow, the invisible womb our mothers still hold us in slowly disintegrates.
We are thrust out into the cold, cruel world to fend for ourselves.
Some embrace the opportunity whole heartedly. They are life's dart boards, ready to take anything it has to offer; the most amazing, or the most heart wrenching.
Others are not so eager. They do not want to be shown off like a store front window for all to see and criticize.
These people create their own unique defense sytems.
Some create soemthing as simple as a mask, while others build intricate fortresses around their feelings.
When you hide yourself and your feelings from others, the probability that you will miss out on some of life's greatest things increases immensely.

Take off the mask, and watch the wall of your fortress crumble to the ground.
The intensity of your life will increase exponentially.
The dull, monotone colored palette of your life will become vivid with experiences.
You might get hurt in the process, and it might feel like hell at times, but things will always work themselves out.
And with the chances of getting hurt, you also have the chances of finding the best thing that will ever happen to you.

The Purple Hippo.

I want to smell the cologone on your skin.
Wrap your arms around me like a blanket.
Everything with you is effortless, like my smiles.
Our fingers interlaced, like puzzle pieces, remind me that you'll always be there.
I know everything will be alright when you are around.
The world could come crashing down, but as long as you're by my side I'll be protected.
I feel like I'm finally where I'm supposed to be, and where I was meant to be all along.

Waking up in Vegas.

Simple, easy, safe, and predictable. That's how I like it.

Despite that fact, my life is still full of chaos, but I have learned to keep it together.
Dreams, worries, memories, hopes all neatly aligned and in alphabetical order.
Arranged as precise as a library.

Click. "The forcast today looks rather enjoyable. Sunny with a high of 75. Possible chance of showers" Perfect if you ask me. The news comes back on and my thoughts drift elsewhere...
The forcaster frantically inturrupts the current news story...

You appear out of nowhere.
This doesn't happen in Chicago, but here you come anyways in all your glory.
They call you Hurricane "X".
From the looks of it, you are a Category 1-the least damaging of them all.
Though, as you keep getting closer, your intensity increases.
You go from Category 1, to a Category 5-the strongest hurricane imaginable, and the most rare.
You shatter through the impenetrable glass that surrounds my heart, and yet you still don't frighten me.
I'm stuck, right in the path of destruction.
You rip me away from the life I had known. A life full of fears, doubts, and uncertainties.
Spinning in a whirlwind of confusion.
You carry me along for what seems like an eternity, before you finally set me down.

My mind is now a clutter fuck of emotions and questions, but I can wait to clean it up.
Instead of waking up in Chicago this morning, I'm waking up in Vegas.

Everything that I thought I wanted, has been thrown out the window and now lays in shambles scattered across the way. My safe haven has been destroyed, but I have never been more comfortable. I'm going to embrace this moment while I have it because who knows how long it will last.

I am finally right where I should have been all along, in the arms of Vegas.