Pumpkins and Scarecrows

I just want to run away.


Get me out of this place.

Reminder:

Put yourself out there.
You let him get to you, but that is okay.
You are allowing yourself to feel something for once.

Remember that it is okay to get hurt. You can only be has happy and love as much as the strongest pain and hurt you allow yourself to feel.

This is part of this magnificent journey we call life.
Not only can we feel the greatest pleasures, but we can feel the most intense horrific pain.
Most people would turn away at the thought of getting hurt, but you are different my dear. You embrace every emotion that life has to offer to you. Embrace these feelings no matter what they are.

Every situation makes you stronger and teaches you something about life and yourself.

Be brave, just fall.

Untitled

What do you do when you think that one of your best friends is about to make a decision that could change the rest of their life, and possibly not for the better. A decision based on another person, on love, or maybe just lust. I just don't understand how you could give up a life you've carved out for yourself in this little town. I know here isn't permanent, but you have friends here. And people that think of you as family. I don't understand how this boy could want you to give all that up for him. In part I think that's selfish of him, and the other part of me wonders why he would do that for you when he knows how situations like that turn out because he has been through them himself.

What do I do? Can I do anything really?

Connect.

We all create our own path through life as we travel through uncharted territory.
Our trails intertwine with others, publicizing our interactions with people.
Our paths are not identical, like some, but they do cross at unexpected moments.
I've always seen you, but you have never seen me.



I can remember the first time we met.
That sweet summer day, sitting on the veranda.
Your long, golden hair flowing over the guitar that rested on your lap.

I saw you then, as I see you now.
You, my dear, are so very beautiful.



So many words have gone unspoken.
So many feelings kept locked away, deep inside my soul.
I've wanted to touch you, to feel your warm breath on my body for as long as I can remember.
Dreaming. Hoping, that one day I could experience you.


Well, that day has come and gone.
The universe heard my countless wishes on 11:11, and finally granted it.


You, my dear, are so very beautiful...




But this is not the end of the story, just the end of the chapter.
Our paths will cross again.

Mmm, country boys!

Earlier this evening, I was having a conversation with an old friend from high school. Her and her boyfriend have been dating for almost 4 years now. At first, she did not want to date him but my other friend and I told her to just give him a chance. Well, she did give him that chance. Four years later, they are happier than they could ever be. But, the point of this story is this:

She told me tonight, that her boyfriend has grown up a lot since I had last seen him. She said that he has turned into this country boy who always wears plaid shirts (or no shirt), cowboy boots, and that he always sings country songs. She also told me that sometimes, he will clean out his garage, turn on country music, and slow dance with her while singing quietly along in her ear.

Now to me, this is pure perfection. Why aren't there more cute, country boys out there who are as romantic as this?


I'm actually kind of jealous. =/

Cinderella.

I have this fairytale woven into the crevices of my brain.
It allows me to travel to magnificent places and dream extraordinary things.
The life I yearn for is tangled up in this little imaginary ball of string.
This ball grows incessantly, forming a tumor.
It is a cancerous tumor – slowly suffocating my reality: inhibiting me from growing and living an honest life.
Hydrochloric acid replaces the blood in my brain, surging through it like water out of a faucet.
Attempting to kill this tumor, I scream while tears are rolling down my warm, red cheeks.
I want to carve it out with a jagged knife, just so I can sew it back up.
I want it to leave a scar, I want to remember.
I want to finally be capable of recognizing and appreciating the beauty in each day that I am alive.


I have been living a lie for as long as I can remember; trying to make my reality live up to the marvelous ideas inside my head, and everyday fell short.
I want to be reminded to care for my imagination as if it were a child; I need to tend to it daily, making sure it's not strong enough to overpower me.
I need to live in reality, and I think I'm finally getting there.

A Split Second

We all need a little inspiration, a spark to light the fire in our souls.

Heavier things.

I want to love.
I want to feel.
I want to meet people.
I want to live.
I want to make a difference.
I want to learn.
I want to have fun.
I want to rediscover my inner child.
I want to make memories.
I want to be carefree.
I want to have a bigger imagination.
I want to make an impact.
I want to inspire.
I want to be inspired.
I want to feel extreme emotions.
I want to be an astronaut.
I want to go sky diving.
I want to be free.
I want to express myself.
I want to fight.
I want to voice my opinion.
I don't want to just sit quietly.
I want to own my dream house.
I want to meet good people.
I want to lay in the grass.
I want to find more joy in little things.
I want to move.
I want to dance.
I want to accomplish something.
I want to listen.
I want to help.
I want to sing.
I want to fly.
I want to star gaze.
I want to run.

I want to exhaust myself in the glorious pursuit of this life that I have been given.






I just want to be me.

Apologies are priceless.

You should always apologize. Even if you think you're right, you might have unknowingly hurt someone else's feelings.


Think about it.

Friendship.

My definition of true friendship:


Your life is exactly that - YOUR LIFE. Do what you want, make your own decisions, make your own mistakes, and make your own successes. Just don't ever be afraid to come to me, for anything. I will not judge you. I do not have the authority to tell you if what you did was wrong or if it was right. You are the only person who can decide what is best for you. Just know that I will be here to celebrate with you when you are happy, to listen to you when you are sad, to catch you when you're falling, and to help you up if I miss. I love you.

Spread the word.

I have never been one to believe that people were put on this Earth for any specific reason, but maybe as we learn and grow into ourselves we start to create one. Right now I am pretty certain that my purpose, at least for the present moment, is to spread my knowledge of happiness and optimism into the world. If I do have a predetermined reason for being here, I believe this is why.

Orange apples & giraffes.

The yellow pools of light birth my clone, only to get swallowed by the darkness seconds later.

Liberation blows through with the wind, becoming entangled in my hair.

It's hard to pinpoint specific moments when things change but sometimes we can, although it is about as rare as seeing both ends of a rainbow.

Everything you can dream of is possible.

What if we're not meant to try to figure things out.

Maybe we're just supposed to sit back and enjoy.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm trying to hard.

Life really isn't that difficult, if you only live in the moment and embrace your surroundings.

It's really all about the little things in life.

Live with an open heart.

Be vulnerable, right?

Too bad that's easier said that done.

Vulnerability opens you up for heartache.

I guess if you look at the cup half full, it also opens you up to see new wonders of the world.

Trying is the first step, so here I go.

I really need to blog more.

The Happiness Project

Falling in love with life over and over.

What could be better?

The Three Little Pigs

Have you ever felt like every time you tried to build something up, a big bad wolf came and blew it all down again.

Hello square one, I can't say I'm happy to see you again.

Life's no picnic in the park.

Vulnerable, bare, blank.

An empty canvas for life to paint on with its endless rainbow of colorful hues.

I stand alone.

Water rushing over me, deafening me to my surroundings.

Another world intertwined with this.

All the same, but with extensive resources, greater knowledge and understanding.

A place of hope, of unimaginable sights and feelings you could never dream of.

I stand alone.

Attempting to wash away the scars, failures, and devastation.

Every crevice of my body, every inch of my being I give to this moment.

I want to feel. I want to live. I want to breathe.

I stand alone.

Maybe what I’ve been looking for has been here all along, but I was never capable of seeing it until now.

A hidden treasure buried beneath mounds and mounds of history.

The process will be tedious, but I am unwrapping these petals of my life one at a time.

Someday it will be a beautiful flower.

Fireworks

You can feel the burning, aching, yearning in your chest as it tenses up because there's no more oxygen.

You come to the realization that everything has become a routine. You don't really see anything anymore, life's a blur but the clock is still ticking. There's still time.

The scenery never changes. All the colors have washed away. The sky and the grass blend together now.

You're surrounded by a jungle of dull brown brick buildings, chipped sidewalks, dusty books, and faces you've seen a million times.

My heart thumps, barely making a sound. Grey muck runs through my veins.

I want to explode. I want to feel.

I want my emotions to erupt into a fountain of vibrant, colorful confetti.

But there's nothing to light the fuse in my soul. Nothing to make me feel alive again.

No spark, no flame, no trigger.

Staying in one place for too long numbs me.

I'm a leach, sucking the life from everything in my path.

I'm a car, and this is my fuel- lights, noises, colors, words, and feelings. I run on mystery and adventure.

Absorbed into every pore of my being, I take it all in, until there's nothing left to satisfy my hunger.

There's no more oxygen to keep me alive.

It's time to move on.